"I can't do it.... I did it!" by Mikayla Wilder

“I can’t do it… I did it!”
By Miss Mikayla 

We all want children to succeed but sometimes we get in the way of their learning. When we’re rushing to get outside after snack, it becomes a bit chaotic if we try to speed up the process to get outside as quickly as possible. After realizing my own impatient state of mind in those moments, I realize that I’m stepping in too much. Rather than allowing children to learn things for themselves, like getting dressed to go outside, we are tempted to do it for them to save time. This isn’t always the best way for children to grow.
One little friend approaches obstacles by saying “I can’t do it” without trying. I’d step in and explain what I was doing while doing it for her, whether it was helping her to climb onto a bench, put on a second boot or zip up her jacket. After noticing the dependency, I stopped stepping in right away. Now when a child becomes frustrated doing a task, I approach them with support and make sure to encourage them with a positive message like “you can do anything you set your mind to.” I also verbally simplify the steps to make it happen and give them space to explore. Sometimes they figure it out and gleam up at me with big smiling eyes that say “I did it!” Other times they would attempt something and then ask for help. Then I would demonstrate the act and explain what I was doing.
It is so important to allow a child the opportunity to learn by giving them space to explore. Of course, there will be times when your help is needed, but we want to avoid stepping in right away so children have that space. Making sure a child has the opportunity to try and resolve the issue on their own is so important. We may give advice and counsel, but need to allow them to discover the answers. Sometimes we need to let them solve their own problems and come up with their own solutions. Our role should be to encourage interdependency; children who approach situations with confidence and have the wisdom to ask for help when they feel they need

KinderForest Magic by Lori Barian

KinderForest Magic
By Lori Barian

Follow, follow me to the ring of the fairies. Follow, follow me where the fairies dance and sing. Gather with me here all the magic you can carry As we circle and circle ‘round the dancing fairy ring.
That is how we begin our circle time in KinderForest, and truly we find nature magic nearly every day. Wonder and awe feed and nurture our souls. Our senses are saturated with the goodness of the natural world. Our imaginations soar with the clouds.
Our woodcutter story in the wintertime inspired our gathering and bundling of kindling. The imaginary fire we built at the end of our circle time gave us a place to warm our feet while listening to the story. On a number of different days, sticks that were found easily became wands; they were so coated with sparkly frost that they glistened and flashed as they were waved about.  
Somehow, as the river thawed, we discovered that the twine I had for bundling firewood was also good for making fishing poles. After “fishing” with the poles on a Thursday morning, we tucked them into the crook of a tree to find again the next day. When we went down to the river that Friday, we found more than our fishing rods. We found two fishermen in their hip waders, their “real” poles in hand, who had already waded deep into the river very near where we had fished the day before. The fishermen seemed to enjoy our company; everyone fished together.  
While we had a story about a mouse, we enjoyed leaving birdseed near the apparent homes of such creatures. Some homes were more obvious than others, and the children only got birdseed to put down for the animals if I thought the home they discovered, often a hole in fallen tree, was truly the doorway to such a residence. Then it was fun to go back and see how much food was gone the next day.  
More recently, we were walking around the side of the play yard to go see the flowers growing along the roadside. We discovered quite a generous pile of deer poop right on the woodchip path. In case we had any doubt about who made the poop, the children then discovered deer tracks in the mud along the parking lot. That was exciting!
Of course, walking into the woods from the parking lot/garden area these days is magical indeed. An undeniable fairyland of scilla and bloodroot (otherwise known as bluebells and white flowers) carpet the ground and smell so sweet, too. We are happy for the milder weather and all the new growth of spring, but we’re not the only ones. On a recent walk down to the river, we encountered 8-12 mallards congregating on the shoreline. The children were slow and quiet enough that the ducks didn’t startle and fly, but instead gradually waddled their way into the water so close to where we stood watching them.
Now that our story is about a caterpillar who becomes a butterfly, “a flower that can fly,” wouldn’t you know it…two chrysalis were spotted by the children in the carved out side of a tree trunk.
Yes, there’s more magic than can fit into this article, so much of which we often take for granted, like the sparkles on the river in the sun. But even when we don’t shout out for joy, these experiences are making deep impressions. The world is filled with an undeniable magic, gifting us every day with reasons to be grateful and glad.  
KinderForest Kindling
The KinderForest children have been gathering bundles of kindling to share with our families.  Please help yourself to some kindling for your homes’ fireplace or fire pit.  Kindling bundles are located just outside the west play yard fence.
   

A Note from the Sunshine Garden by Belinda Kenwood

A Note from the Sunshine Garden

By Miss Belinda

As I was perusing my Facebook page the other day, I came across an article from Respectful Parent’s page that resonated with me, because it serves as a reminder of why I have chosen to work with young children as my lifelong vocation, and why I do what I do when working with young children.   When taking a continuing education workshop a few years back, the instructor told us that our job as parents, grandparents, caregivers, most grown-ups really, is to teach children what it means to be human.  Children come into this world not only as beautiful, tiny, miracle beings, but also as a bundle of chaos.  They need we grown-ups to serve as guides on how to manage the social pieces and interactions of living in a world inhabited by billions of other people.   It is crucial that children have adults in their lives who show by example what it means to be compassionate toward one’s fellow human beings.  Do they need us to be perfect?  Heavens, no!  There’s no such thing.  We all make mistakes and will continue to do so.  But what will live in the children is our striving to do better and be better next time.  It’s the most important work we can do.  So, on that note, I bring to you the article from Respectful Parenting’s page entitled, Why “Choosing Your Battles” May Not be an Effective Parenting Strategy, by Kelly Meier.  An important way in which children learn how to be “confident, respectful and kind” is by the setting of limits or boundaries by the grown-ups in their lives. And by the way – All of the questions listed by the author in the first paragraph regarding doubt?  I ask those same questions to myself every day when working with your children.  And I continue to ask them when relating to my now 21-year old son and 18-year old daughter.  Parenting, like any journey, is an act of faith and trust that, indeed, the universe does have our backs.

Happy Reading!

http://respectfulparent.com/choosing-your-battles/

All are Welcome by Jaimmie Stugard

All are Welcome

By Jaimmie Stugard

         Today, people all over the country are protesting the travel ban that prohibits people from certain countries from traveling to the United States.  There has been so much talk of building a wall to separate our nation from the “others” that the school age children in my life are expressing fears and asking questions.  The me first, us and them, competitive and divisive rhetoric is pervasive and unnerving.  Understandably, many of us grown folks are not feeling like ourselves.  The sky is grey.  The news is glum.  Some of us are feeling defeated, depleted and exhausted.  Others are feeling fired up and activated. 

              Of course, the little children in our lives hear our conversations and the stories on the news.  Even those who have little exposure to such adult things can sense when we are feeling edgy or off kilter.  Now, more than ever, it is essential that we practice presence.  If we are brooding about the latest executive order or a tiff we’ve had with a relative on social media, the children we are with will feel our anger or distress.  But, they will not understand it.  They may internalize it or mirror it, but they will not understand.

             At this young age, children are developmentally unready to be burdened with the injustices of the world.  They are still learning to love the world.  They gaze in wonder at the snowflakes that land on them.  They delight in catching a glimpse of rabbit prints in the snow.  As their parents and caregivers, we are honored to guide them as they experience the beauty of the world unfolding before them. 

              When they are older, they will have a solid foundation based on their early experiences that the world is good.  They will have learned to love the earth, its creatures and their fellow human beings.  Then, when they are ready, knowledgeable and strong they will have the life experience to empathize and the power to fight injustice and to confront their fears.  Right now, they are (physically) little beings who are looking to us for reassurance and guidance.  They need to know that the grown-ups in their lives are okay and that we will take care of them.  They don’t need us to tell them.  They need to feel it.

            The current cultural climate may compel us to educate our children about social justice, conservationism, diversity and advocacy.  When considering how we might do this, it is essential that we consider the development of the young child.  Very young children respond to rich experiences, to songs and stories.  Lectures and overt instruction rarely resonate with the toddlers and preschoolers.  At LifeWays we “teach” conservationism by letting the children play in nature and, through their play and explorations, develop a love for the outdoors.  A toddler who is learning to navigate the difference between affection and aggression is learning the basics of social justice.  Sharing simple and authentic foods, songs and folk tales offers an introduction into humanity’s rich and diverse cultural heritage.  Children who experience our openness, compassion and empathy toward all humanity trust that all are welcome. 

A Word About Festivals By Belinda Kenwood

A Word About Festivals

By Miss Belinda

Glimmer, lantern, glimmer,


Little stars a-shimmer,


Over meadow, moor and dale,


Flitter, flutter elfin veil.


Pee-wit, pee-wit, tick-a-tick-a-tick,


Rou-cou, rou-cou, rou-cou.

Glimmer, lantern, glimmer,


Little stars a-shimmer,


Over rock and stock and stone,


Wander tripping little gnome.


Pee-wit, pee-wit, tick-a-tick-a-tick,


Rou-cou, rou-cou, rou-cou.

As I reflect upon our lovely and magical community gathering in celebration of our annual Lantern Walk and Festival, I thought I’d “shed a little light” on why we celebrate festivals here at LifeWays.

Throughout the year, we at LifeWays celebrate festivals in order to help us celebrate the rhythms of the earth which can, in turn, help us to be in harmony with ourselves and find a greater sense of wholeness and balance in our lives.  Our “festival life” also helps establish a yearly rhythm for the children.  Children love their lives to be orderly and predictable as it gives them a feeling of safety and security, and whether we celebrate a festival with the whole community or during the day with the children (think of our Birthday celebrations), the rhythm of the festivals provides them with feelings of safety and security within the endless passage of time.  Our festival life also provides us with the opportunity to reconnect with one another and strengthen our community.  They help to nourish our souls through the sharing of stories, food, songs and activities that celebrate the seasons, and we seek to express them with beauty and with reverence.  Festivals remind us again and again that beauty, wonder, anticipation and reverence are worth making space for in our lives.

Thus, every year around the end of October or early November, we, along with other LifeWays centers and homes as well as Waldorf schools, celebrate a Lantern Walk to celebrate Martinmas, a festival of inner light in the outer darkness of the approaching winter.  St. Martin, for whom the festival honors, became known as friend of the children and patron of the poor.  He is remembered for his good deeds and acts of kindness.  The festival originated in France and then spread through Germany, the rest of Europe and Scandinavia.  Because it is held in November, in this part of the world it occurs as autumn is ending and winter is coming on, marking a time of full barns and completed harvest in preparation for winter.  As St. Martin spread warmth and light to his fellow human beings, this festival of light serves as a reminder that within each one of us lives a divine spark, and that we may spread our own warmth and light out into the world as we enter into the darkest time of the year.

Over the month of October, the children hear stories, create their lanterns and learn the songs in preparation and anticipation of the festival.

Each year, we look forward to sharing this festival of light with you as we see how our own little flickering lantern becomes a shared light, and we experience the full circle from the solitary individual to the fullness of community.

Summer Festival Reflections by Jaimmie Stugard

Summer is coming to an end and many families are trying to squeeze in a few last outings before autumn, and the changes it brings, begins.  Between trips to the beach and the zoo, we prepare for new classrooms, new schools, new schedules, new clothes and new friends. 

Sometimes the excitement of activity and change in our lives can be quite draining.  Consider how many of us feel after a holiday, party or a family vacation.  We may say, "Whew! That was a lot of work. I am glad that it's over and things are back to normal!"  It is easy to enjoy our lives when they are rhythmical and steady.  We have time to just relax and soak it in, rather than always planning and wondering "What's next?"  As adults, we value our daily rhythms even as our children depend on them.  Usually, it isn't until our routine is disrupted that we realize how we thrive as humans when our daily tasks are a matter of course, leaving us to bask in the deeper essence of our existence.  To contemplate bigger questions than "Where is the next meal coming from?" and "What will the next moment bring."  The structure we place in our lives allows us to experience peaceful presence.   

Yet, there are things in our lives that are intended to nudge us out of the ease of our existence, to bring us together as a community and to transform us as individuals. Holidays, festivals, community events and rites of passage elevate us from our daily physical life into a spirit of joy, celebration and wonder.  While the elaborate preparations are often exhausting, we find that when we muster enough resources to be truly present during the celebration, we are lifted.  The act of coming together, of passing into the next phase of life, draws in unknown forces and replenishes us. Anthropologists call it collective effervescence.  Spiritualists refer to it as the cosmic consciousness, the life force or the Holy Ghost. When children experience this coming together, they carry the feeling with them for some time.  Christmas carols are sung well into spring and wedding ceremonies are reenacted again and again in their play. 

Seasonal festivals are one of the ways that we embrace life’s cycles and celebrate our community at LifeWays.  In autumn, we illuminate the long night with our home-made lanterns and our radiant inner light.  Our summer festival is a beloved tradition, an honored rite of passage and a time of joyful reflection and fond farewells. As summer draws to a close and we begin to anticipate all the changes that the new school year brings, we celebrate one another and the transitions ahead.  Families and caregivers come together for a story, songs, a pot-luck lunch and a special bringing ceremony to honor the children who are beginning kindergarten.  The children help prepare for the festival by making food with their caregivers and parents, gathering props for the puppet play and polishing the bridge.  Before the festival, the bridge is decorated with rainbow silks and fresh flowers.  When all has been prepared, we came together for our story.  The story is full of familiar landmarks and scenery to spark their imaginations and set the scene for this tale of imminent change….

The Children of the Cedar Castle

By Miss Jaimmie

Once upon a time, there was a Cedar Castle at the edge of an Enchanted Wood.  The castle was a magical place, especially for children.  It was filled with young friends who spent their days playing, working and living together.  They ate together and they rested together.  Many stories were told and many songs were sung.  Many, many hours were spent exploring the Enchanted Wood.  Butterflies and snakes, birds and squirrels, fairies and spiders, deer and turkeys were among the children’s forest friends.  The seasons brought many new and interesting things for the children to explore.  From snowflakes to scilla, the enchanted forest was full of beauty and wonder.  And so, the weeks and months and years passed, and the Cedar Castle and enchanted forest were filled with joy and love.

    One fine day, a few young friends went for a stroll in the Enchanted Wood.  They walked further into the wood than they had ever walked before.  They walked through the Clearing and beyond the Story Rock.  They walked down the Crookedy stairs and along the riverside.  On and on they walked, beyond the Troll Bridge and the Jasper House.  They walked and walked until they came to place they had never seen before.  There in the heart of the enchanted forest was a magnificent crystal mountain made all out of rose quartz.  At the foot of the mountain lay many shining quartz crystals.  The friends each took one crystal to remember their magical journey and continued on their way.

The children walked on until they saw a most unusual sight.  A beautiful rainbow arced across the blue sky and landed at their feet. 

A lovely rainbow, see it span.

So brightly shining, o’er the land.

It is so red, gold, green and blue.

I want to climb it now with you.

The friends climbed the rainbow and when they reached the top, they were amazed at all they saw.  They could see the wide Enchanted Wood, the Flowing River and the Quartz Mountain. They could see the Jasper House and the Troll Bridge, the Crookedy stairs, Story Rock and the Clearing.  They could see the Cedar Castle and the village beyond.  And when they looked even further… they saw other castles.  The friends longed to explore the other castles.  Perhaps, they too, were filled with happy, playful children.  

And so, with their hearts filled with love and eager for adventure, the friends went, one by one, across the rainbow bridge to explore the castles beyond.  They spent their days laughing, playing and learning with their new friends. And so it was, that all of the children of the Cedar Castle, lived happily ever after.

       We celebrated our summer festival earlier today.  The children who were heading off to school gathered near their caregivers at the foot of the Rainbow Bridge.  They were given a piece of rose quartz and a hug before they crossed the bridge, where their parents were waiting with open arms.  As the children crossed, their caregivers and families sang:

Circle of friends I love,

Let me tell you how I feel.

You have given me such treasures,

Circle round again.

          After all of the kindergartners crossed the Rainbow Bridge, we sang our blessing, mingled, took a few snapshots and shared a meal.  As the families said farewell, a handful of people stayed back to tidy up after the festivities.  It was a full morning and by the end of it all, I was ready to go home and lounge with a good book...

A few hours later, my daughter and I happened to run into some LifeWays alumni at the public library.  The school-aged children reflected on their journey across the Rainbow Bridge and my little one eagerly chimed in that it will be her turn to cross next summer.  Their mother told me about the LifeWays friends that they still keep in touch with after all these years (my how they’ve grown!).  After visiting with our old friends for a few minutes, it was time for us to go home to bake a cake for grandma’s upcoming 75^th birthday celebration. Circle round again….      

My Experience with Potty Training by Sandra Schmidt

       My room this year is filled to the brim with two-year olds. Over the next year they will be transitioning from diapers to underwear and parents have begun asking about the right time to begin potty-training and how to do it.

       While it might not immediately seem related to potty training, the ability to dress and undress is one of the first steps towards this endeavor. When I first started at LifeWays I had a young friend who could never quite make it to the bathroom in time. Accidents were frequent and Miss Emily and I had frequent conversations about whether our young friend was ready for this transition. One morning in the play yard “Grace” said she needed to use the potty. We both scurried inside because I wanted to avoid sending home a bag of wet clothes (normally I let children in the building use the bathroom by themselves and Miss Jaimmie lets them back outside). Grace was able to remove her coat, hat, and mittens without a problem, but when we got to the bathroom Grace was not able to remove her pants. They were too tight! Between the snap and zipper and the Lycra in her skinny jeans she was not able to pull her pants down far enough to avoid an accident. I thought back to what she’d been wearing the other times she had accidents to consider if it was her clothing that had inhibited her success.

       Learning to use the toilet is one of the most complex and developmental tasks of early childhood. Potty training (or toilet learning) requires specific abilities and both neurological and physical maturity. After a discussion with parents on the readiness of their child, a plan is put together to help the child with this next step in development. The ability for the child to recognize that he or she has a soiled diaper is one of the first steps toward this goal. I frequently have 2-1/2 or 3-year-old children who come to me saying they need a new diaper before I’ve made my morning check of diapers in the play yard. When this awareness of wet and dry occurs, the child has usually been able to stay dry in their diapers for several hours at a time. This tells me that in the next six months or so they will be transitioning to underwear. 

       Many of our bodily functions - eating, sleeping, or toileting - are ruled by habit. At 9:00 am my body tells me it is hungry and one reason this occurs is because I’ve been having snack at 9:00am for the last three years. Toileting is similar and by offering the children in my suite the opportunity to use the bathroom at the same time every day (9:30 am, 11:45 am, 12:45 pm, 3:00 pm),  the children’s bodies adapt to the rhythm, resulting in greater success. 

       I often hear how great the child is doing at home, only to have accidents at LifeWays and, in my experience, the childcare center is one the last places that children will be accident free. Children also sometimes “regress,” often because of changes in their lives – a new baby in the home or weaning are two common examples. While it is more advantageous for the child to train in underwear (diapers and pull-ups can delay potty-training), there are times when I request a child wear a diaper at nap because they are a deep sleeper or wear a diaper late in the day because they have tried to hold in a bowel movement during the day. 

       It can often take up to a year to be consistently accident free. The process can frequently challenge a parent’s patience. I’ve experienced this with my own children, and having a sense of humor helps. Using the toilet is one of the first steps to our children’s independence that we can help facilitate, but over which we have limited control. By looking for signs of readiness, and working in partnership with parents, I am able to help the children in my suite make this important transition.