Thoughts on Gratitude, by Tamara Treviranus, LifeWays Caregiver

As I have reflected on the concept of gratitude over the past couple weeks, it has become clear to me that this idea is one that, for me, evokes emotional, poetic images, vignettes of life. A life imbued with gratitude is a gift to oneself that radiates warmth both inwardly and outwardly. Each day I try to be thankful for the little things. Thank you to Spirit for awakening me each day and thank you for the opportunity to Awaken to each moment. Remembering to have gratitude for all that we have and knowing that it is enough provides a secure, satisfied feeling.

It is said in multiple spiritual practices that one should try to look at life through the eyes of a child. I’m thankful that my time here with the children at Lifeways gives me ample time to do that. This practice can be an exercise in inspiring awe and wonder at the simple natural wonders of the world. This simplicity in living encourages us to be more appreciative of our everyday routines; gratitude inspired mindfulness or vice versa. It seems they go hand in hand. Even the rhythm of Lifeways provides time to pause for a moment of gratitude before each meal. This is a practice that has carried over into our home life through my children and it has really enriched our mealtimes spent together.

Thank you to all of you for entrusting us with the care of your children. I am truly enjoying this time with the children of Ms. Jaimmie’s suite while she is on her maternity leave and am thankful that the connections with the children of the Woodland suite still remain.

Peace and Blessings,

Miss Tammy

Prayers, by Mary O'Connell, LifeWays Director

(LifeWays welcomes children and families of any race, religion, color, ethnic or national origin, sexual orientation, or gender identity. In sharing my thoughts on prayer, I hope to connect with a more universal experience we might share about the value of meditation or contemplation in our busy lives.)

As a young girl growing up in a Catholic family, I learned there are several types of prayers. I was taught there were prayers for things you want (these should be fewest in number for a good child), prayers for intervention on behalf of others (much more desirable), prayers of contrition (being sorry for doing wrong), and prayers of adoration (these were supposed to be the most frequent, and the ones God really liked to hear.) Let’s face it, as a youngster almost every prayer I managed to utter regarded something I wanted. Think Ralphie and his Red Ryder BB gun and you get the picture. Usually, I prayed for a pony, which was a stretch since I lived in a crowded Chicago suburb.

As a skeptical teen, I questioned the motives of a God who would want people to "suck up" constantly with prayers of adoration, telling Her or Him how fabulous S/he is. Seriously? If you’re God, you shouldn’t need the constant praise, right? Over time, I put this teaching in the same category as “Women can’t be priests” and “Birth control is a sin against God.” Not relevant to my life.

As happens as one gets older, my prayer life began to change. Perhaps it happened as I was parenting toddlers; too tired to manage a full-blown, comprehensible prayer, I often found myself reduced to frazzled prayers like, “Help!” or “God, please don’t let this child grow up to be a pathological liar/shoplifter/graffiti artist.” Then, when I would go into their rooms at night while my children were sleeping, there would be the resigned prayer of “Please help me be a better parent tomorrow.” It was all I could muster before I fell into bed, exhausted.

Today, I find myself enjoying a whole different kind of prayer life than I envisioned as a kid. I’ve come to believe that every act I engage in has the capacity to be a prayer: making dinner for my family, wiping a snotty nose of a child at LifeWays, sharing a funny story with a colleague, or picking a ripe tomato from my garden. And these days, many times a day, I find myself offering up a familiar two-word prayer -- “Thank you.” Maybe it’s a by-product of getting older; of seeing the potential for heartbreak, struggle, illness or loneliness and being gosh-darn grateful for every joyful minute we are gifted. And when you start paying attention, there are so many of those moments! I no longer take for granted a hug from a sweaty child talking a mile a minute about a salmon that jumped in the river, a laughter-filled board game with my husband and soon-to-be-launched kids, or a thought-provoking conversation with a LifeWays parent.

I can honestly say these days, most of my prayers are ones of gratitude -- indeed, adoration -- of the incredible blessing it is to have a family, friends, a roof over our heads, food on our table, and an inspiring vocation in a workplace that is filled with joy. Maybe those Catholic nuns weren’t just preaching dogma after all --maybe they were really on to something.

Thank you, dear LifeWays parents, for sharing your beautiful children with us every day. I am grateful.

Mary

Saying Thank You, by Rhoda Kambandu, LifeWays KinderHouse Teacher

Snow, snow, snow, how we do love the snow!

It’s so nice to finally have some snow on the ground! The Kinderhouse children were thrilled to be out in the newly-fallen snow, and enjoyed rolling around in it and sampling the snowflakes! The snow seemed to enliven their spirits and added a magical serenity to their play. As a teacher, their enjoyment was truly gratifying. I felt so fortunate in being able to give the children the time and space to enjoy being out in nature in this way.

I recently had my annual work performance review with Mary. As always, I felt really lucky that I work at LifeWays, and that I truly enjoy my work. Working with the children and the other caregivers allows me to expand my knowledge of children development. I have gained an appreciation for how the first seven years of a child’s life shape the rest of his/her life, and therefore strive to provide a warm, simple and nurturing environment for the children.

As a child, my siblings and I would often pay my Aunt and Uncle long visits. I remember my Aunt telling me one meal time, “You must always say thank you to the person who has prepared your food.” This simple statement has stuck with me.

It is not always easy to show true gratitude when one is facing a difficult situation, but it is at these times when gratitude is exactly what is needed. I have found that when things are tough, having a sense of gratitude for the things that are going well can have a healing effect and can bolster us through difficult times.

How can we teach children to have a sense of gratitude? If we remember that young children learn primarily through imitation, all we have to do as the ones being imitated, is to show genuine gratitude ourselves. Of course, like a lot of things about raising children, it may be easier said than done! But we can strive to model gratitude for our children by simply saying “Thank you for our meal,” as we do at LifeWays. If we continually express our gratitude, our children will learn to do so as well. We can teach children to enjoy being out in nature, in all kinds of weather, by enjoying it ourselves. If they see us making snow angels or catching snowflakes on our tongues, they will imitate us and pick up on our attitude towards nature. In this way we can foster in them a deep appreciation for nature that will lead them to revere and protect natural spaces as adults. Because young children are such imitative beings, our actions truly speak louder than our words.

I am grateful to be a part of the LifeWays staff. Thank you, LifeWays parents, for the opportunity and the honor of working with your children.

Ms. Rhoda Kambandu

Gratitude With Each Meal, Monica Stone, LifeWays Cook and Caregiver

Earth who gives to us this food,

Sun who makes it ripe and good,

Sun above and Earth below

To you our loving thanks we show.

Blessings on our meal and peace on Earth

*

For health and strength and daily bread

We give our thanks today

With hands joined, folded gently on the table, or crossed over our hearts, we sing these words to express deep gratitude for the nourishment we take into our bodies and the company shared around the table. What better place to instill a sense of gratitude. When so many families in the city we live face impoverishment and have little access to healthy, nutritious, whole foods, it’s of even greater importance to recognize the abundance in our lives and the abundances we share at Lifeways. I am ever grateful that I am able to provide a good healthful meal to all the children at Lifeways to help stimulate their minds and aid their growing bodies. With simple recognition of the privileges we hold, we can begin to value and understand what we have to be thankful for. I see gratitude everyday at Lifeways, whether it be in saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ or a reminder to do so. I see gratitude when Jasper, with beaming face and bright eyes, thanks me personally for the sunflower seeds and cranberries I put in the salad. Such expressions bring forth things other than gratitude – love, respect, compassion, reverence, understanding, all which help encourage our devotion to one another and honor everything we may receive.

Gratefully yours,

Miss Monica

Gratitude for the Drama by Emily Hall, LifeWays Caregiver and KinderForest Teacher

I have often thought that being a caregiver is the most drama filled work that there is, besides parenting. Getting to a place where I feel gratitude for that drama has been a journey. Let me explain how my voyage from frustration to gratitude went.
When I began at LifeWays, my first instinct was to rescue children from feeling bad. The drama of a tantrum over the minor calamities of life was not what I wanted to see or hear. I'm sure that we've all been at the point of bargaining our way out of a meltdown just for a moment's peace. Giving in is sometimes the solution, for a child's safety and a parent's sanity should always come first.
But. How is a young person to learn gratitude, if not by experiencing their negative feelings? By watching other caregivers just be with a child's frustration, I learned to allow the children to express their rage and sorrow without judgement or rescue.
Sometimes, a child's anger at a situation just needs to be heard. I've been working lately on acknowledgement of feeling.
Here are some recent examples that I am proud of:
Yes, dear, I hear that you are sad, still you must do what needs to be done. yes dear, you're sad because you want to find a rock like his. No, we don't have time to go back. It's ok to cry.
On many days, I feel myself pulling back, wanting to explain or cutesify sorrow away. I still remember Mary and Jaimmie's look of horror when I exclaimed over the adorable-ness of a child's tantrum. Some old habits die hard. As caregivers, our own biographies want to intrude on the future. Our parents' ways of placating, cutesifying, explaining, and rescuing the bad feelings away come out with our own children. With conscious care and a lot of listening, a mindful adult can work towards loving the tantrum. Then, the young person can feel love for herself within the cloud of anger. I love myself, even when I'm angry, she can think. I don't like my anger, but I want to feel better. How can I self-soothe so that I can do that? Learning that the answer is inside me, not outside of me, is a lesson that adults can model by allowing space to discover the answer. And, when necessary, dressing the kicking and screaming child and carrying her out the door to continue her sorrow outside.
Sometimes, only the trees and the child understand. And that's ok. Each little person carries drama filled emotions that as a caregiver, I cannot always soothe away. Receiving those feelings with respect while doing what must be done each day is enough.