As children begin to develop their language skills it
is important that their words and ideas are heard and acknowledged by the
adults in their lives. Providing children with verbal and visual cues help them
to understand that they are being heard and will boost their confidence in
their own words. Though it is important to listen to children, it is essential
to frame conversation in such a way as to not leave too much choice or
complicated thought for the child to have to cope with.
There
are several young children at LifeWays who rely heavily on verbal cues for them
to understand that their voice is being heard by the person they wish to be
speaking to. There are many times where I will hear my name called and I will
look attentively at the child requesting my ear and instead of proceeding with
their thought they will continue to say my name. Though I am looking at them
and clearly giving them my attention, they wait for a verbal cue that I am
listening to them. This can be as simple as my saying, "Yes, Joey?" Visual
listening cues are more understated and harder for young children who are just
developing speech to grasp, but still very important. After I have verbally
acknowledged a child wishing to speak with me, I provide visual cues such as
eye contact and orienting my body towards the speaker, things that they will
begin to understand equate to an attentive audience even in the absence of a
verbal cue as they grow and further develop their speech.
A
common subject that is broached by the children at LifeWays is, "What is
for lunch today?" I must tread lightly and simply when I answer this
question because there are some foods for which even the name will cause a bad
taste in the mouth for many children. I always make sure that I answer this
question as broadly and simply as possible. Instead of responding to the child,
"We are having spaghetti noodles with red lentil sauce and corn, beans,
carrots and peas," I will simply reply, "We are having noodles with
sauce and vegetables." The first answer, being so detailed, leaves space
in the child's mind to focus on the parts of the dish that they dislike (or
happen to dislike that day) and sour the entire meal. The broad and simple nature
of the second answer provides a simple picture in the child's mind that does
not become complicated until they are served their meal. At the point the food
is on the plate, a negative reaction to the food may be met with the simple
statement, "Find something on your plate that you like and you may eat
that." This provides the child with a choice (eating some foods and not
others) within a defined boundary (their plate), and shows them that their
words were heard and taken into consideration. Too much choice is a problem for
a developing mind and can lead to more issues rather than solutions. If given
the choice, children would eat candy and cookies for every meal because sweets
always taste good. Or they may choose the same meal over and over because they
know they like it, never expanding their repertoire. Instead of asking children
at LifeWays what they would like to eat for lunch, we provide them with a plate
with several options on it and give them the simple choice of what is on that
plate. There may be a day where lima beans are the most terrible and disgusting
food in existence, followed a week later by a professed love for lima beans by
the same child. It is important to guide the young child while all the while
nudging them in the direction that will lead to positive choices they can carry
with them for their entire lives.
Speech
development at a young age is a time when children will begin framing who they
are as individual human beings. They must know that their words are heard and
understood and that their thoughts and ideas truly matter. This can be achieved
by providing verbal and visual cues while guiding children to positive
decisions with limited choices and avoiding conversation that may complicate or
confuse the ideas they have running through their developing minds.
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